Is it still Mother's Day without my child?

Hands down, this holiday was the hardest of days for me to endure while alienated from my daughters. 

It took significant effort just to breathe. For moms missing their children, Mother's Day delivers unbearable cruelty.

Perhaps, you may be fortunate enough to have a few awkward, stiff moments with your child. Perhaps, there may simply be a silent, cavernous void -- no call, no visit, no contact at all. Perhaps, you may even witness a replacement figure enthusiastically celebrated in your place on social media.

This lovely, spring day meant to bestow honor and joy can become viciously excruciating and humiliating in a highly public manner for an alienated mother. It would be irresponsible of me to sugarcoat or minimize this agony.

If you are an alienated mother, I urge you to make a survival plan ahead of time -- STAT. 

Your most important task is getting through the holiday weekend, safe and sound. You CAN do this.

Find a quiet space or a safe person and plan out what you need to cope.

If you need to surround yourself with supportive people, reach out to them now. If you need to be alone and cry all day, cancel all activities and stock up on tissues. Go for a long drive or head out of town. Sit in a movie theatre all day. Climb a mountain. 

Do whatever will help you move through your pain to get to the next day.

Just be sure to select a strategy that doesn't move you backwards. Steer clear of overspending, risky substance use, dangerous situations, or making major or permanent decisions of any kind. 

You want to shelter in place, not lose ground or jeopardize the possibility of reconnecting with your child. Above all, do not punish yourself, internally or otherwise.

You may be stripped of your parenting role at this moment, but you are -- and will always be -- a  mother. 

Right now, being a good, strong mom means preserving your own well being so you can be there for your child in the future.

Know that you will be in my heart especially on this day.